Before I moved out here to DC for the academic quarter, I told everyone that I would accomplish something out here that they would hear about back on the west coast. My expectations were very high when I came here, and that immediately sent me into a mental spiral, as I scrambled to find a miracle every moment I had the first couple of weeks I was out here. I wanted my life to change so bad before I’d be done with the 10-week program. My vision was to meet someone, do something, or encounter some type of miracle that would send me into a new chapter in life filled with Un-Associated success, global impact, and overall prosperity. Maybe I would run into Diddy here, or Jay Z, and convince them to invest in me. Maybe I would somehow get 5,000 people to view an episode of The Un-Associated Stories. My vision was to change my life in a positive way – but quite honestly, I never met Diddy, Jay Z, and much less than 5,000 people view the docu-series (for now).
So I admit it, I was troubled come week 5 when I still wasn’t famous or in the news. Then week 6 came and went, then 7, then 8, and now, I have one more week left out here. Still haven’t met Diddy. On top of that, I’ve spent 9 weeks at an internship that I haven’t really learned much from. So I was haunted by the question, what am I doing here?
I usually have a great answer to that question, but not this time. Thankfully, I found myself breaking down to my sister over the phone and as I was at my lowest point – all frustrated and anxious – God took back the steering wheel.
I say that because I was reminded that He was the one in control, not me. He is the one that has the master plan, not me. And that’s hard to accept a lot of the time – especially for me. I find security in a plan. But God wants us to find security in Him FIRST.
If I can speak on the things that God has done for me while I’ve been out here, I wouldn’t mention meeting Diddy. Instead I would speak on the lessons he’s taught me while being independent in a new city.
Here, I learned to be a man. I learned how to cook for myself. I learned how to figure out transportation for myself. I learned that raw meat doesn’t last too long in the fridge, and that milk is something I consume everyday (I know, I know).
So did I expect too much? Was I out of line for dreaming of Un-Associated blowing up while I’m in DC?
I don’t believe that.
I can never regret being a dreamer. I can never regret being a visionary. Where would I be if I never longed for “better”. I don’t regret dreaming – ever. I’d rather fall short of my dreams than stay grounded my whole life. I can be wrong for making my own plans – but never be wrong for expecting the best. There is a difference.
Hopefully, after reading this, you learn that if God does not meet your expectations when you want Him to, it doesn’t mean that you dreamed wrong. Keep dreaming. Keep aiming high. Keep being a visionary. God loves a persistent dreamer.
– E
