Do you feel useful after you have failed God or fallen short? Does sin make you feel like you are not useful to God, like too far gone to be used by Him?
These questions and countless others similar to these have crossed my mind and left me wondering if I was truly saved, or, God, why have you left me, and most notably, am I still useful to God, even when I sin or don’t feel Christian enough? And maybe some of you have thought these same things. Constantly since I began this journey as a Christian, I have always heard my Christian counterparts mention they want to be used by God, they want to be in God’s plans to spread the Gospels and His name throughout the land. I, on the other hand, always felt that I could never do what they do or go to the places that they may have because I’m not Godly enough or I’ve sinned too much. Then what was the point of what Christ did on the cross (Matthew 27:45-54)? Have any of you ever felt similar sentiments?
God Uses Imperfect People All the Time
When I ponder this subject, countless examples of people from the Bible come to mind. For example, Moses, a person whom God used to deliver our ancestors from slavery (Exodus 12:31-51) and supported them to the Promised Land that God promised him while he was alive. Another was a man named the Apostle Paul, whom God used mightily throughout Scripture. Such as being the author of so many chapters/books throughout the Bible, establishing many churches, doing many great things for the sake of the Gospel (Ephesians 2:10 NIV), and being a great representation of how Christians should persevere on our journeys of life (1 Timothy 6:12). Lastly, King David, whose lineage produced Jesus and a person who was a great example of a person whose faith demonstrated their reliance on God (Acts 13:22).
So, what did all of these individuals have in common then? Moses had moments of anger (Numbers 20:11) that kept him from the Promised Land (Deuteronomy 3:23-29). Apostle Paul was a Christian slayer (1 Corinthians 15:9) and called himself the worst of sinners (1 Timothy 1:15). King David had a man killed to cover his own sins and gave in to temptation (2 Samuel 11). So again, what do they all have in common? They were all flawed. They were all dirty rags at their best in Christ (Isaiah 64:6), that God used to advance His kingdom, even when they had sinned and felt so far gone, but God used their repentant hearts and their willingness to submit to Him and be a part of His plans. Are you willing to submit to God? Be more of Him and less of you?
The Grace on Which We Stand
Most recently, my life hadn’t felt so good in a very long time. I had been continually tired, depressed, and feeling like my sins had dirtied me up so much that I felt like God had cast me aside and left me, but what I realized was that I had actually thrown Him and His grace to the side. Have you done the same? The grace of God isn’t a hall pass to keep sinning or to continue identifying with our worst attributes or moments, but a reminder to get back up when we fall. And to trust God in the end, whatever end that may be for you, which is guaranteed to prosper you (Jeremiah 29:11).
