“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each if you the interests of the others”

-Philippians 2:3-4

Society persistently encourages us to look out for: number one, helping ourselves before anyone else, and not only is that a selfish approach to life, but it is not the way God desires for us to live. He did not intend for us to be islands, but to learn to live and work together. We are each other’s keeper. At the very least, there is, I hope, some consensus that that is true, that we all ought to help each other. However, the greater schism occurs when we begin to talk about recompense, what we feel we deserve for our “good deeds”.

Maybe it’s because of my own upbringing, but I never really looked for a reward after helping or giving to someone. It’s like in kindergarten when a teacher gives a student a gold sticker for doing their homework. Helping someone in need, like doing homework, is something that we are supposed to be doing anyway. In fact, it is our responsibility, so why do we deserve anything for it? Why are we expecting praise and reward and more importantly, why do we feel we need it?

The answer is our mindset. When we have the wrong mindset for helping someone, that is when the false idea that we deserve something presents itself. It creates a certain entitlement that will, inevitably, result in disappointment and delay. However, in Philippians, Paul is reminding us of the heart we are supposed to have when we approach any task, especially helping someone, and that is one of humility. This means earnestly doing a service, regardless of whether it benefits us or not. Humility is not only essential, but an attitude of selflessness, doing something because a need must be met and not because we’re expectant of pomp and circumstance.

Another prerequisite is integrity. Personally, I think its meaning is oversimplified, frequently being defined as doing the right thing when nobody’s watching. However, it’s more than that. It is a moral uprightness, being kind for kindness’ sake, and doing the right thing for goodness sake. It is not about the fact that the right thing is being done, but about the intention and reason it is being done. A person with integrity does not look for credit when they do what is right. The gift and recognition are knowing that someone is able to get what they needed.

So, HOW do we do it? How do we give and help others without expecting anything?

Remember the sacrifices that were made on your behalf, especially the ones you did not deserve and that you could do nothing to repay anyhow.

Change your mindset from being self-centered and incentive-based to being other-centered and need-based.